"Feminism"

“Feminism” has become a loaded term, to say the least.

For me, the word often conjures images of bra-burning, sexually promiscuous radicals of the 1970’s.  It also makes me think of 1980’s shoulder pads and power suits.

Many women hear the word “feminist” and cannot shake the ridiculous stereotype of Lesbians who think the world would be better without any men at all.

I attneded a conservative university (understatement!) and I recall hearing my female peers again and again—typically when in the company of a young man they hoped would woo them—declare, 

“No, I’m not a feminist!   

Call me traditional, but I love men and I don’t think I need

 to be better than them to feel good about myself.”

This stance always confused me.  Being a feminist does not mean you can't love men.  It also doesn't mean that you can’t be happy and satisfied with yourself unless you are somehow fundamentally viewed as better (whatever that means…) than a man.  In fact, you don’t even have to be a female to be a feminist.

So why the visceral, negative reaction to the very word—feminist, I wonder?

It always appeared to me that these college ladies were convinced that touting themselves as “feminists” would make them less desirable for men or somehow less worthy of male admiration.  As if a real woman who respects men, wants to have children with a man someday, and doesn’t want to immediately tear patriarchy to pieces cannot possibly also be a feminist.

ERROR.

This is incorrect.

Feminism has come to be defined by its connotation, rather than its denotation.  So let’s educate ourselves.

feminism

[fem-uh-niz-uh m] 

noun

 The doctrine advocating social, political, and all other rights of women equal to those of men.

Do you see anything about bringing men down?  Do you see anything about being a Lesbian?  Do you even see anything about being a female? 

Me neither.

Feminism is about bringing women up, not about bringing men down.  It is about allowing women the same rights and opportunities to rise, succeed, and lead in political, economic, social, business, educational (ETC.) realms that men currently enjoy.

Whether you want to admit it or not, even though we have had the right to vote for a hundred years, there are still many other rights –spoken or implied—that are currently out of our reach.

I had a Womens Studies professor from Stanford University who bemoaned that she could never quite get the opportunities to have buddy-buddy time with her (mostly male) superiors because (get this!) she was aware that most important promotional decisions were made among the top men while they were all together AT THE URINAL in the men’s bathroom. 

     1)   Gross.

     2)  Wow.  Talk about going to great lengths to keep the ladies from being a part of the discussion.

So she fought fire with fire and started making smalltalk with the few female executives in the ladies restroom, too!  She claimed she would never have gotten the job she ultimately received if she hadn’t been building cliques in these intimate moments.

But should it really be like that?  Should we have to go behind closed doors to try to scam our way to the top in secret societies and compacts that equal those of our male competitors?  Well, I don’t think they have to be our competitors at all.  I think that the most progress will be made when men are our allies in the cause of equal rights for women.

Emma Watson made big headlines by thinking this way recently in a now-famous speech she made at the United Nations.

She did a great job, so I will quote much of what she stated:

“Today we are launching a campaign He For She. I am reaching out to you because we need your help. We must try to mobilize as many men and boys as possible to be advocates for change. We don’t just want to talk about it. We want to try and make sure it’s tangible…

“The more I spoke about feminism, the more I realized that fighting for women’s rights has too often become synonymous with man-hating. If there is one thing I know for certain is that this has to stop. For the record, feminism by definition is the belief that men and women should have equal rights and opportunities. It is the theory of political, economic and social equality of the sexes.

…

“[My] recent research has shown me that feminism has become an unpopular word. Women are choosing not to identify as feminists. Apparently, [women’s expression is] seen as too strong, too aggressive, anti-men, unattractive.

“Why has the word become such an unpopular one? I think it is right I am paid the same as my male counterparts. I think it is right that I should make decisions about my own body. I think it is right that women be involved on my behalf in the policies and decisions that affect my life. I think it is right that socially, I am afforded the same respect as men.

…

“It is not the word that is important. It is the idea and the ambition behind it because not all women received the same rights I have. In fact, statistically, very few have.

“In 1997, Hillary Clinton made a famous speech in Beijing about women’s rights. Sadly, many that she wanted to change are still true today. Less than 30% of the audience were male. How can we effect change in the world when only half of it is invited to participate in the conversation?

“Men, I would like to give this opportunity to extend your formal invitation. Gender equality is your issue, too. To date, I’ve seen my father’s role as a parent being valued less by society. I’ve seen young men suffering from illness, unable to ask for help for fear it will make them less of a man. I’ve seen men fragile and insecure by what constitutes male success. Men don’t have the benefits of equality, either.

“We don’t want to talk about men being imprisoned by gender stereotypes but I can see that they are. When they are free, things will change for women as a natural consequence. If men don’t have to be aggressive, women won’t be compelled to be submissive. If men don’t need to control, women won’t have to be controlled.

“Both men and women should feel free to be strong…We can all be freer and this is what HeForShe is about. It’s about freedom. I want men to take up this mantle so their daughters, sisters and mothers can be free from prejudice but also so their sons have permission to be vulnerable and human, too and in doing so, be a more true and complete version of themselves.”

...

(http://www.jpnotes.com/2014/09/heforshe-emma-watsons-un-speech-on.html)

Really, great!  Watching her speak about this made me very emotional.  Most young women in her shoes respond to film-made fame with plastic surgery and materialism.  Instead, she went to college and became a Goodwill Ambassador for UN Women, so she can use her name to forward a cause she feels strongly about.  Now there is a role model. 

She referenced the #HeForShe movement in her speech.

Here is their website:  http://www.heforshe.org/

Self-described as a Solidarity Movement for Gender Equality, it invites men to assist women in reaching parity.

In response, a subsequent speaker before the UN in 2014 announced a conference to discuss how to reach gender equality.  Sounds like nothing new until you find out that this conference is for men only.  At first that may seem like a step backward to exclude women, but I think it is actually a revolutionary leap forward to have men championing this issue. 

Here’s some excerpts from an article about the announcement:

During a speech before the United Nations, Iceland's Foreign Minister Gunnar Bragi said his country and Suriname are convening a conference to talk about gender equality.

The catch? Only men and boys are invited.

Bragi said that his country wanted to do its part to "promote gender equality." So, he announced:

"We want to bring men and boys to the table on gender equality in a positive way.

"Iceland and Suriname will convene a ‘Barbershop’ conference in January 2015 where men will discuss gender equality with other men, with a special focus on addressing violence against women. This will be a unique conference as it will be the first time at the United Nations that we bring together only men leaders to discuss gender equality."

As the AP reports, Bragi was making the announcement in commemoration of the 20th anniversary of the 1995 U.N. women's conference in which world leaders declared, "women's rights are human rights."

(At U.N., Iceland Announces Men-Only Conference On Gender Equality

by Eyder Peralta)

http://www.npr.org/blogs/thetwo-way/2014/09/29/352541250/at-u-n-iceland-announces-men-only-conference-on-gender-equality?utm_source=facebook.com&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=npr&utm_term=nprnews&utm_content=20140929

Emma Watson also referenced the fact that “feminism” has become a nasty word among so many young women; an undesirable trait if you’re trying to catch a man.

To that point, the following book is somewhat controversial and, yes, she uses somewhat vulgar language.  But I cannot shake this one excerpt in particular from my mind.  I first heard it read over the radio by the author in her delightful accent and I cheered in my car as I listened:

We need to reclaim the word 'feminism'. We need the word 'feminism' back real bad. When statistics come in saying that only 29% of American women would describe themselves as feminist - and only 42% of British women - I used to think, What do you think feminism IS, ladies? What part of 'liberation for women' is not for you? Is it freedom to vote? The right not to be owned by the man you marry? The campaign for equal pay? 'Vogue' by Madonna? Jeans? Did all that good shit GET ON YOUR NERVES? Or were you just DRUNK AT THE TIME OF THE SURVEY?”

But, of course, you might be asking yourself, 'Am I a feminist? I might not be. I don't know! I still don't know what it is! I'm too knackered and confused to work it out. That curtain pole really still isn't up! I don't have time to work out if I am a women's libber! There seems to be a lot to it. WHAT DOES IT MEAN?'

I understand.

So here is the quick way of working out if you're a feminist. Put your hand in your pants.

a) Do you have a vagina? and
b) Do you want to be in charge of it?

If you said 'yes' to both, then congratulations! You're a feminist.

And the round of applause goes to Caitlin Moran, author of How To Be a Woman.

http://www.npr.org/2012/08/02/157728094/not-a-feminist-caitlin-moran-asks-why-not

Still confused about whether or not you want to embrace that word, feminism?

Never fear!  Modern day feminist are not only embracing the word, but re-defining it to fit their idea of women’s rights and equality in the current day.

To combat the negative stereotype of “feminists,” essayist Roxane Gay refers to herself as a “Bad Feminist” in that she fully supports women’s issues and women’s equality, but she doesn’t fit into your mental image of what a feminist should be—and she’s okay with that!

NPR writer Annalisa Quinn reviewed her recent book of essays titled Bad Feminist, and concluded/quoted the following:

"I am failing as a woman," she writes in one essay. "I am failing as a feminist. To freely accept the feminist label would not be fair to good feminists. If I am, indeed, a feminist, I am a rather bad one. I am a mess of contradictions."

In a different essay, she says she is "trying to support what I believe in, trying to do some good in this world, trying to make some noise with my writing while also being myself: a woman who loves pink and likes to get freaky and sometimes dances her ass off to music she knows, she knows, is terrible for women and who sometimes plays dumb with repairmen because it's just easier to let them feel macho than it is to stand on the moral high ground."

But is feminism that monolithic?" I ask. "Are those necessarily contradictions?" She says, "I think the way feminism is talked about is monolithic. A lot of what I'm exploring in Bad Feminist is how I'm overcoming the preconceived notions I've had about feminism and what feminism actually is, and confusing feminists with feminism."

Gay's problem might be that she's not very good at faking. Most people have an idea of who they are or who they want to be (good feminist, happy person), and go about projecting some more or less consistent version of it. Gay doesn't, or if she does, she's terrible at it.

"I do have personal boundaries and I'm actually a very private person, but there's no point in pretending I'm always cheerful," she says. "I'm not. That's just not me, and I don't feel the need to create a persona. And I don't feel the need to play the games that sometimes people play, like projecting a perfect life or a happy life or very well crafted insecurities. No, I kind of have them all."

http://www.npr.org/2014/07/03/328228837/roxane-gay-bad-feminist-real-person

Amen.

You can like imported perfume, and leopard print high heels, and even secretly indulge in the occasional Chris Brown song and still think that equality is important.  Being true to your own feelings and beliefs and being committed to providing an environment where you and others have the liberty to achieve is paramount to fitting within the parameters of an old, typecast label.  

Don't be afraid to be called a feminist, embrace it!  Make the title yours, make it serve you!  Fear not, because you are your own person and cannot possibly fit within the confines of one politically-charged term.  So don't think of yourself so one-dimensionally.  For me, I am a feminist.  AND I love to swim.  AND I love to wear dresses.  AND I love my husband.  AND I was honored to see Michelle Obama recently.  AND I'm religious.  AND I am registered Independent voter.  AND I am a cancer survivor.  AND I love to study Near Eastern history.  And, and, and...  We are each far too complicated to be afraid that ONE label with an old, negative connotation will somehow change us or make us overall less desirable or less worthy of love.

So it appears to me that the so-called “New Feminism” is really just an effort to eradicate the bad, likely false, connotations lingering from the “Old” ERA-era feminists.  The bra-burners and man-haters or yore. 

 But as we try to free ourselves from labels that scare away people who should be our allies, let us not also improperly label our forbearers in this movement.  One of the legal champions of women's rights from a fading era is US Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsberg.  She is a hero to many a law student.

(Probably an inappropriate side-note, but I saw this Halloween costume of The Notorious RBG at the time this was first published, and it cracked me up!  See, I’m a bad feminist too… )

I recently read an interview with Justice Ginsburg and was inspired by some of her wisdom.  Published in September 2014, she (“RBG”) was interviewed by Jeffrey Rosen (“JR”) and here is an excerpt:

JR: How much did your experience with the ACLU influence the kind of justice you became?

RBG: When I was writing briefs¹³ for the ACLU Women’s Rights Project, I tried to write them so that a justice who agreed with me could write his opinion from the brief. I conceived of myself in large part as a teacher. There wasn’t a great understanding of gender discrimination. People knew that race discrimination was an odious thing, but there were many who thought that all the gender-based differentials in the law operated benignly in women’s favor. So my objective was to take the Court step by step to the realization, in Justice Brennan’s words, that the pedestal on which some thought women were standing all too often turned out to be a cage.

JR: How has the dynamic on the Court changed as it has added more women?

RBG: Justice O’Connor and I were together for more than twelve years and in every one of those twelve years, sooner or later, at oral argument one lawyer or another would call me Justice O’Connor. They were accustomed to the idea that there was a woman on the Supreme Court and her name was Justice O’Connor. Sandra would often correct the attorney, she would say, “I’m Justice O’Connor, she’s Justice Ginsburg.” The worst times were the years I was alone. The image to the public entering the courtroom was eight men, of a certain size, and then this little woman sitting to the side. That was not a good image for the public to see.¹⁴ But now, with the three of us on the bench, I am no longer lonely and my newest colleagues are not shrinking violets. Not this term but the term before, Justice Sotomayor beat out Justice Scalia as the justice who asks the most questions during argument.¹⁵

JR: What’s your message to the new generation of feminists who really look to you as a role model?

RBG: Work for the things that you care about. I think of the ’70s, when many young women supported an Equal Rights Amendment. I was a proponent of the ERA. The women of my generation and my daughter’s generation, they were very active in moving along the social change that would result in equal citizenship stature for men and women. One thing that concerns me is that today’s young women don’t seem to care that we have a fundamental instrument of government that makes no express statement about the equal citizenship stature of men and women. They know there are no closed doors anymore, and they may take for granted the rights that they have.

http://www.newrepublic.com/article/119578/ruth-bader-ginsburg-interview-retirement-feminists-jazzercise

Work for the things you care about.

Doesn’t that apply to just about everything?

Equality is something that I care about.  We think we live in a “free country” or in the “modern world” but people’s rights are being trampled all the time.  Slumlords rule over impoverished renters.  Women are held hostage in their own homes by violent partners.  Children cower under a silent shroud of abuse.  Government employees turn a blind eye when inmates or arrestees are beaten near to death when their supposed protectors get annoyed with them.

There are many brave people fighting for justice and equality on so many fronts.  My hope is that more ladies AND gentlemen join the fight on behalf of gender equality, so that half of the planet is not immediately placed in second class at birth.

I am so encouraged when I particularly hear of men taking on this task, as a human right worth fighting for.

I saw some beautiful photographs highlighted by a BBC interview of a photographer for their 100 Women series. 

“Photographer, blogger and poet Nana Kofi Acquah uses his travels around Africa to chronicle the lives of women at their most accomplished and at their most vulnerable…A self-declared male feminist, he says his mission is to change the narrative around African women where they are often portrayed as victims of circumstance.”

 "If a woman wants her children to go to school, if she wants anything better, she has to work twice as hard as her brother. But what African women have in common is a beautiful, strong spirit. I see that everywhere I go, even in cultures where they look suppressed and downtrodden. They are strong fighters."

 "A cousin once told me that he would never marry a woman who was more educated than he was. That insecurity he expressed as a teenager is the same insecurity I see in a lot of men, even well-educated men. When a man is insecure in front of a powerful, successful woman, I want to know why."

 Alimata Ouedraogo is the president of a weavers group in Ponsomtenga, Burkina Faso. Some of the fabrics they weave end up on the big fashion shows in the world. "When I got there they were weaving for some designer from Japan. She was also very proud that she was learning to read and write."

 Old Fadama, also known as Sodom and Gomorrah, is a slum in Ghana's capital, Accra. These young migrant workers had saved some money to build a plywood and aluminium home, which was demolished by the government. "I'm sure that they built it again. They never give up," the photographer said.

 "The love of my grandmother, the lessons she taught me - and for my mother - made me consider myself as a feminist and put myself in a position to strongly push women's issues, any time I can," he said.

 "For me, feminism is when we can create a world where a woman has the same rights as a man. I believe my daughter has the same rights as my sons," the photographer said.

http://www.bbc.com/news/world-africa-29712786

To the strong and courageous women and men around the world who struggle for survival and do so much to carve out a better life for themselves and their daughters—you are not alone.