What is a JayDiva?

JayDiva (noun) a writer of blogs who is an attorney, feminist, New Englander, child advocate, reader, hiker, cancer survivor, Mormon.



Sunday, July 15, 2012

The Day I Became a JD(iva)


Oh, yeah, remember that one time I graduated from law school?  Feels so long ago after this heck of a long, arduous summer!

Honestly, I do not remember that much about it because I was bleary-eyed with heat stroke.

We had these massively heavy gowns on over our normal clothes and then these great big velvety hats to hold in any heat that dare try to escape.
[Me^ on the left, zipping up]

Add to that a hot, humid Pennsylvania day with lots of ceremonial walking and standing in a tent OUTSIDE with NO AIR CONDITIONING and that is packed with hundreds and hundreds of people all up in each others' business and then the powers that be commanded the underlings to tamp down the sides of the tent to disallow any potential breeze from coming in.

Literally.

Sweat dripping down my face.

At one point I remember reaching to the ground to get a bottle of water and my entire back and arm cramped up so I couldn’t move.

BAD.

I just remember emerging from the tent feeling dizzy; pretty sure that I was about to faint at any moment.

But my family was there, I got some lemonade & started feeling better and we even got some photos.


My brothers + sisters-in-law and myself have this little...problem.  When we all get together, suddenly we're all 5 years old again and taking a serious photos is, well...impossible.  But I like it that way, it makes for funny pictures that show who we really are- just big kids who love each other :)
 
The graduation ceremony itself, thankfully, was the low point of my family’s trip out east.  I had so much fun with them here!




Once the festivities were over, we grabbed plenty of tasty soft pretzels and then paid our respects to Molly Pitcher who –well, who would have guessed?—is laid to rest in the Carlisle Cemetery just down the road and is somewhat of a hero to Mom, Grandma, and me.

We also had a graduation PAR-TAY!
  Wegman’s finest chocolate domes were, of course, prominently featured.
~~

Shortly after my family arrived at the airport, we headed to Gettysburg and ate in the basement of an old historic tavern all done up like an Abolitionist hideout, following by a Ghost Tour!  Spooooooky! ;D

We had an amazing day-long tour of Gettysburg, hosted by local all-knowing historian and law librarian, Mark—it was excellent—and included lunch at the Appalachian Brewing Company with birch beers all around.
[I think this^ wins the prize for photo of the trip with Grandpa's sweet gangsta pose!]

 
We also enjoyed a fun little hike around the Children’s Lake in Boiling Springs where it meets the world-famous Appalachian Trail.  After that we had a lovely dinner at the Boiling Springs Tavern- I truly enjoyed everyone’s company all together at one big, round table.

I took the fam on a tour of Carlisle, which included a trip to the Carlisle Indian School site/graveyard, the army barracks where my Grandpa Bill stayed, and my law school.


 It was so nice to show everyone the places I have been enjoying for the last 3 years and I am so grateful that they made the long trek out to celebrate this event with me.  Without their support, it would have been darned near impossible for me to do it, so I am very grateful to them for their love!

Scooters + History + Cupcakes= an excellent morning

For a quasi-interesting read and some photos I took this morning, check this out: http://scatterthesunshine.blogspot.com/2012/07/factories-recession-and-townie-named.html

But onto the business of the day, I enjoyed my last morning of freedom this week before BAR EXAM LOCK-DOWN.  Nice knowing you all, but you probably won't be hearing from me for a while after today.

Knowing that I am moving basically immediately after doomsdays I wanted to make sure I did just one more thing while living in South-Central Pennsylvania.  And that one thing was...riding scooters around the Gettysburg Battlefield!!


You may think that's an odd thing to want to do so badly, but that's only because you haven't done it.  It was A BLAST!

For a long time I've been saying that I want to buy a scooter, like a gorgeous Vespa, once I start earning real life lawyer paychecks, have my car paid off, and am up to date on all my other necessaries and bills.  My time tables puts that at about...oh...maybe early 2015.  :/

So I have a while.
But while dreaming all of these big dreams, I needed to make sure that I was saving my pennies for a cause I could actually go through with.  In other words, I thought I'd better actually ride a scooter before I go out and invest a lot of time shopping around for one.

And what better place to learn that the tranquil paved roads around the battlefield, all around 25mph speed limits- perfect!  And, of course, lovely & scenic.
So I convinced a friend from church to go with me and we had so much fun!  I am DEFINITELY gonna get me one of these!!

And what adventure with me would be complete without a cupcake or two or three??
Yep, go on and be jealous of the Whoopie Pie Cupcake on the left -PA's finest dessert- and it was delicious :)

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Independence


 I’ve been coming to grips with the fact that I’m about to move to the Big City and leave behind the oh-so-close trails, lakes, and farms of the mid-state.   So I paid my respects to the Appalachian Trail for perhaps the last time in a while and went for an Independence Day trail run this 4th of July.

It started out very quietly, I’m guessing most people were at home mixing up their potato salad (gross) and chopping their watermelon.  But as I went deeper into the state forest, I started seeing people that had obviously been on the trail for quite some time.  The first 2 guys I saw I about scared to death; they both jumped out of their skins and started mumbling incoherently. 

The first day hiker I came across, poor thing, had just stopped and spread his legs apart and was clearly picking an XXL boxer wedgie and scratching his nether regions, not expecting anyone to be running up behind him, but SURPRISE!  I wizzed by trying to keep my giggles to myself.  I thought he was going to faint he looked so mortified.
Anyway, I kept a-jogging and greeting people I passed with “Happy Independence Day” and the hard core folks that had been on the trail for a while all had the same response, “Oh!  That’s right; that is today…”
On a steep grassy uphill portion, I crossed paths with a couple dudes and the first, surprised, asked me, “You’re hiking all alone?”  At first I thought he meant that it could be dangerous, but this is not exactly a treacherous trail, I had a whole CamelBak of water, my signature can of mace, First Aid expertise, plus I’m fit as a fiddle.  Most of the hikers I passed were alone, and I’m sure he wasn’t posing that question to ALL of them.  But then I wondered if he thought it was odd that I was hiking alone and a FEMALE.
 As soon as the thought entered my mind I was, perhaps symbolically, caught with some prickly vines on my shorts and as I ripped away from them, I couldn’t help but think of the women under the dark regime of the Taliban who literally could not even leave their own homes without a male escort.

—I know, I always manage to find a way to link all bad things back to the Taliban, but this is what I was honestly thinking—

Suddenly, wishing people a “Happy Independence Day” took on a whole new meaning for me.  I thought of my own independence -not just our nation’s independence from Britain- and of the freedoms that I personally enjoy, not just as a citizen, but as a single young woman.
How blessed I am to be able to attend graduate school anywhere I want, vote, own property, have a job in any field I want, live by myself, run for office, and literally have the freedom to do what I want when I want!  (Of course, some of those things I may choose to do might get me in trouble, but I have the freedom to choose to do them and the right to an attorney if I do AND I can guarantee that I will have due process of law and that I won’t be stoned as punishment!)

And the strawberry on top was that it was a super gorgeous day and as I relaxed into a back float wearing a (revealing!) bathing suit –no burqas for me!-, I gave thanks for my liberties and, despite being crowded into the lake with 100s of other celebrants, I felt truly independent.

(*originally posted here)
PS How adoreable is this legitimate mailbox in the middle of nowhere for hikers to write home to their Mamas!

Sunday, July 8, 2012

Philadelphia Triathlon 2012: a success!


Well…Adrian, I did it!  That’s right, I finished the Philadelphia Triathlon!  No joke, right when I started the swim, my mind- unprovoked- was suddenly flooded with the Rocky Theme Song and I was like, “Awww, yeah! I got this!”
Seriously a great experience.  I loved every minute.  The volunteers kept laughing at me and calling me “Smiley” because I was just beaming ear to ear, especially during the biking portion- I was literally having a great time!

I had this huge sense of gratitude while I raced.  I was just so grateful for my health and my body.  Not like, “I’m so sexy, I love my body,” but just that I’m grateful to be able-bodied and to have the capacity to do so much and to be strong inside and out.  It was really a great feeling to accomplish this.

So here’s my stats.  I’m not sure how they factored in my transition time, but my guess is that T1 is lumped into the bike time and that T2 is lumped into the run time. 

SWIM 00:15:34
BIKE   01:00:33
RUN    00:25:21

TOTAL 01:46:18

My goal was to finish in less than 01:50:00 with transitions, so I totally nailed it! :D

Since this was a sprint, that means my speed breakdown (factoring in transition times) is as follows:

0.5 mile swim at 1:46/100 yards average in open water
15.7 mile bike at 15.6 mph average
3.1 mile run at 8:11 minute-mile pace


 There were about 1000 sprinters, nearly 500 of them female and in my division I placed 20th(!) and out of all women sprinters, including the “elite” class- ie, they’ve done this a million times and qualified to start first- I finished 104.  Honestly, for a first-timer who ran her first 5K only about 2 years ago (Wow!  I can’t believe it was only that long ago!), I am VERY proud.

Pre-race, after getting body marked.  Starting to get nervous…
Honestly, what I was most afraid of was the transitions- I just didn’t really know what to expect.  I had run over it in my mind a million times, but when the pressure’s on, you just never know.  I also bought some stretchy toggle shoelaces for my running shoes to prevent wasting time tying them, so that was helpful!

My most confident area is the swim, so I was all revved up for that.  I did not anticipate getting kicked in the face like a million times in the first 5 seconds, causing me to swallow a GIANT mouthful of that nasty Philly river water. [As a side note, I’m pretty sure this caused me to be ill for the next several days…literally, it felt like I had swallowed a hamster…TMI, but just in case you were thinking of doing this race later, its some food for thought ]

I also did not anticipate swimming into a log.   Fortunately, it just hit my arm and not my head.  That could have been a SERIOUS tragedy!

At the end of the swim the burly male helpers at the beach honestly launched me out of the water and sent me running to my bike.  This was crunch time- socks, shoes, helmet, sunglasses –Ah!  My swim cap is still on!- etc.  And OFF pedaling like a madwoman.
 The bike was where I was least confident.  I was the only person I saw with a hybrid bicycle and most people and these fancy racing bikes worth thousands of dollars.  At least I took my basket off before the race so I didn’t look TOO ridiculous.

It was obvious that my bike was heavy when people were zipping my me going uphill but I showed them all who was boss when my heavy bike outran them ALL on the downhills! Ha!  Sweet vengeance!

Unfortunately, it seemed –as it always does- that there were more uphills than downhills.  Oh well, I held my own.  In fact, I got a little hoarse repeatedly shouting “ON YOUR LEFT!” as I passed suckers who wasted money on their bikes. (May or may not be fabricated)

On the second lap of the long 2-lap course, I even conversed with a nice lady (nice in retrospect because I ended up beating her, haha) after my chain came of my gears! AHHHHHH!!!!  MINI HEART ATTACK!!  And then a backwards pedal + a miracle later and I was back on track, hardly even skipping a beat.  We commiserated about our cycling fears. 

And then the RUN.  I was like, “I can do this; almost done!”  But then I was like, “HEY!  Who filled my shoes with concrete?!”

I felt like I was running in sloooooow moooootiooooon and could just not get my legs to go any faster.  My intention was to run with a negative split (ie, getting faster each mile) but my mile 2, I was fighting my frazzled mind just to keep going.  The last mile I definitely did speed up, passing up even willowy gazelle-legged individuals which, as a regular-sized+ person of average height, always makes me feel good J

AND THEN THE SPRINT TO THE FINISH!

It feels like you’re going so fast…but in reality you’re probably not.  Regardless, still a good feeling!

(I kinda felt like that^ afterwards.)

And the best part was the sweet liberty bell medal- SO CUTE!  Well worth the workout!

Although honestly, I don’t even remember receiving my medal or giving back my timing chip.  I just remember things looking hazy and someone helping me not fall down after I crossed the finish line.  Then I walked around aimlessly for a while until I returned from semi-consciousness and suddenly had my second wind was all proud and excited, haha.
SO MUCH FUN!  And now I’m a triathlete!  So dream big and don’t underestimate your body’s abilities and someday you will be able to say to your own Adrian, “I DID IT!” with pride.

*Originally published here

Saturday, July 7, 2012

"Why Mormon Feminism Is True"

While, at the behest of non-member friends, I have been working on a related piece myself, I cannot claim authorship of the following entry.  Thank you to Patrick Mason for a well-written article (published in June of this year) that I completely concur with.

~~~

""By proving contraries,” Joseph Smith once declared, “truth is made manifest.”  For many, the very phrase “Mormon feminism” is itself a “contrary.”  If so, then perhaps Mormon feminism is precisely the kind of place we should look for truth.

"First, some necessary qualifiers.  Women hold positions of significant leadership in every LDS congregation, but they do not hold (nor have they ever held) priesthood office in the Church.  By definition, women are excluded from the Church’s key decision-making bodies, from ward bishoprics to the First Presidency.  Women do participate in governing councils on every level, but always under the leadership of men.  How much their voices are acknowledged, furthermore, is largely determined by how much space and influence they are granted by their male priesthood leaders.  All-male priesthood quorums are the locations of power and authority; women’s and children’s organizations are “auxiliaries.”

"Reflecting on these very real structural challenges, one of my non-LDS feminist students has repeatedly asked, “Why don’t Mormon women go on strike?”  There are probably as many different answers to that question as there are women who choose to remain active in the LDS Church.  Mormon women stay for social reasons, spiritual reasons, cultural reasons—all the reasons why anyone gets or stays involved with any religion.

"For many (not all) women, part of what attracts them to and keeps them within Mormonism is the distinctive brand of feminism deep within the core of the tradition.  Although this feminism is fleshed out in relationships, conversations, and movements, it originates in a philosophy that seeks out those elements of the tradition that promote the empowerment of women and the equality of the sexes.

"Here I will only consider some of the theological foundations of Mormon feminism rather than the lived experience of Mormon women and feminists.  Without wanting to reduce Mormon feminism to ideas—and certainly not presuming to speak for all Mormon women or all Mormon feminists (which includes men)—I want to sketch out four ways in which I see Mormonism giving life to feminism, and feminism giving life to Mormonism.  Indeed, at some points it can be difficult to tell where one ends and the other begins.

"First, Mormonism redeems Eve.  It does so by proclaiming that there isn’t all that much that she needs to be redeemed from.  Hers was a “fortunate fall,” a conscious decision that put the wheels of God’s plan of salvation in motion.  In the Mormon Eden narrative, Eve is not tricked by Satan so much as she rationally weighs the decision before her, and she chooses the path of knowledge of good and evil with its attendant sin and sorrow, joy and salvation.  Mormon scripture and prophets have unequivocally declared that Eve made the correct choice—the one that God wanted her to make—and then got Adam to do the same.

"But what to do with God’s curse on Eve:  “I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee” (Genesis 3:16).  A feminist reading of this passage reveals God’s decree to be descriptive, not normative—the world as it would be, not necessarily how it should be.  In a fallen world, the daughters of Eve would be cursed with the slings and arrows of childbirth and motherhood; they would largely be reliant upon men for their security and wellbeing (and thus would have desire toward him); and those fallen men would rule over them, often in a patriarchal and abusive manner.  The suffering of women would largely come at the hands of men–as it turns out, Eve’s curse was actually Adam’s curse all along.

"Second, Mormonism deifies women as women.  I’m not talking about the Victorian pedestal that Mormon men have often placed Mormon women on—a pedestal that in the end resembles more of a prison.  Mormons believe in a Heavenly Mother who reigns in heaven side-by-side with Heavenly Father (God).  Furthermore, Mormonism proclaims that faithful women will, in the words of early Mormon feminist and Relief Society Presidentess Eliza R. Snow, be “crowned in the presence of God and the lamb” to become “Queens” and “Priestesses.”

"To be sure, the doctrine of a Heavenly Mother, though repeatedly affirmed throughout the history of the Church, is largely undeveloped, and LDS prophets have publicly taught that Mormons should not pray to her.  Nevertheless, as demonstrated in a recent BYU Studies article, “leaders and influential Latter-day Saints have explored her roles as a fully divine being, a creator of worlds with the Father, a coframer of the plan of salvation, and a concerned and involved parent of her children on earth.”  The doctrine of the deification of women is also a central core of LDS teaching and temple ritual.  If being a woman is a core part of identity, as most strands of feminism insist, then Mormonism is distinctive if not singular in asserting that women do not have to give up that part of themselves when they go to heaven.

"Third, modern Mormonism is responsive to feminism.  Though it takes only a few strokes of the keyboard to uncover countless affirmations of Mormon patriarchy, any careful observer would notice that the discourse has changed significantly in recent decades, and continues to evolve.  Take for example the language about gender roles in the home.  The LDS Church’s semi-canonical The Family:  A Proclamation to the World states,
By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families.  Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children.  In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners.
"This is the very definition of paradox:  fathers preside, but fathers and mothers are equal partners.  Similar language is found in the most recent issue of the Ensign, the Church’s official monthly magazine for adults:
The husband’s patriarchal duty as one who presides in the home is not to rule over others but to ensure that the marriage and the family prosper. . . .  The husband is accountable for growth and happiness in the marriage, but this accountability does not give him authority over his wife.  Both are in charge of the marriage.
"Where there may be some degree of message confusion here, on a deeper level I see “proving contraries” in operation.  What seems to have emerged in contemporary Mormonism is a paradoxical ethic of egalitarian complementarity.  The Church stands firm on the notion of difference rather than radical sameness when it comes to the sexes, and often relies on traditional patriarchal language to express distinctive gender roles.  At the same time, it insists on an ultimate and functional equality, particularly within a marriage.  Then again, complementarity and difference trumps egalitarianism in the ecclesiastical structures of the church.  Thus, the paradox.

"Finally, insofar as Mormonism offers a substantive critique of certain forms of secular feminism, it does so by questioning the foundational assumption of the radical autonomy of the individual.  This is not so much a beef with feminism as it is with certain fruits of the secular Enlightenment.  Mormonism is hardly antagonistic to the individual, but it also insists that the self is not the arbiter of all that is true and good.  Community matters, children matter, God matters.

"In sum, Mormon feminism manifests the redemption of Eve and Adam (and all their sons and daughters), proclaims the literal deification of women, wrestles with the paradox of equality in difference, and insists on rooting the self in the bonds of human community and communion with God.  And that, at least in part, is why Mormon feminism—the seeming “contrary”—is true."