What is a JayDiva?

JayDiva (noun) a writer of blogs who is an attorney, feminist, New Englander, child advocate, reader, hiker, cancer survivor, Mormon.



Tuesday, March 29, 2016

Jesus 2016

Vote Jesus 2016!


I have watched most of the debates for both political parties during this grand nightmare known as the election cycle.  To be perfectly upfront, I have been registered as a non-partisan independent voter for years and I do not believe in the two-party system-- but that is a discussion for another day.  Suffice it to say that I do not consider myself truly a Democrat or a Republican.  But on this election cycle’s merry-go-round, I have found myself feeling increasing anxiety and angst over the words of the Republican candidates, claiming to be directed by Jesus in their political doings.  

These feeling peak when the individuals conclude their remarks with a cheesy pander of gratitude to “my Savior, Jesus Christ” who guides their decisions, etc. etc.  To me, there is no clearer example of taking the Lord’s name in vain than this— using the name of Jesus in an attempt to scrape up a few votes and arrogantly demonstrate your superior virtue.  Adding insult to injury, these vain oblations always come after an hour or so of the same person ranting off their policy proposals, which I am sure Jesus Himself would have a hard time agreeing with.

If Jesus Christ ran for President of the United States of America in this 2016 election, what would His campaign look like?  Would Christ honestly care about not raising taxes?  Would he be adamant about cutting social welfare programs?  If not, can you honestly say He would run as a Republican?  

Despite the conservative Christian block being nestled comfortably within the Republican Party for many years, I think that there are cracks forming and that all this –lead, in part, by the Mormons—may be about to change. 

What follows is a non-inclusive list of some things currently important and also generally important to the two parties, compared with what Jesus Himself (or His prophets) said or did about the same or similar subjects:


Tenets of the Republicans

Lower Taxes; Corporate Loopholes OK to Aid Economy
Luke 20:25 And he said unto them, Render therefore unto Caesar the things which be Caesar’s, and unto God the things which be God’s.

(ie, PAY your fair share of taxes to the government, but give your loyalty to God.)


Less government involvement in the economy & our lives
John 2:15 And when he had made a scourge of small cords, he drove them
all out of the temple, and the sheep, and the oxen; and poured out the changers’ money, and overthrew the tables;
16 And said unto them that sold doves, Take these things hence; make not my Father’s house an house of merchandise.

(ie, He threw out the money changers.  Watch out, check cashing stores!  When Jesus is President, you’re in trouble!  This is a special case because business had corrupted the temple, but the image of Jesus zealously tearing down corrupt business ventures is certainly telling about his feelings towards Corporate Fat Cats!)

 

Curb Social Liberties that are Immoral (eg, abortion)
           Helaman 5:2 For as their laws and their governments were established by the voice of the people, and they who chose evil were more numerous than they who chose good, therefore they were ripening for destruction, for the laws had become corrupted.
Yea, and this was not all; they were a stiffnecked people, insomuch that they could not be governed by the law nor justice, save it were to their destruction.

(This is tricky.  The people voted on evil laws, which poised them for destruction.  But the nail in the coffin may really have been that they had descended to lawlessness—whether their laws were good or evil, they had opted to not be governed by them anyway.  So perhaps the content of our laws is less important than our individual choices within those laws.  This is how many of us feel about Gay Marriage and Abortion.  The content of the law is one thing, how I behave in my personal life is completely another.  My choices are not effected by what may be construed as “bad law,” because I do not choose to exercise certain “immoral” liberties I may have because of my own moral choices.  ((Alternatively, becoming lawless regardless of a law’s content MUST be paralleled to the Bundy Family’s Oregon lawlessness in the name of seeking “good laws” which got ZERO Church support for a reason!)).) http://www.deseretnews.com/article/865644791/LDS-Church-condemns-seizure-of-Oregon-federal-facilities-by-militia-citing-Mormon-beliefs.html?pg=all



Tenets of the Democrats

Increased government responsibility to provide social welfare
           Luke 18:22 Now when Jesus heard these things, he said unto him, Yet lackest thou one thing: sell all that thou hast, and distribute unto the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come, follow me.


Increase minimum wage + wage parity for women
Zechariah 7:9 Thus speaketh the Lord of hosts, saying, Execute true judgment, and shew mercy and compassions every man to his brother:
10 And oppress not the widow, nor the fatherless, the stranger, not the poor; and let none of you imagine evil against his brother in your heart.

           2 Nephi 20:1 Wo unto them that decree unrighteous decrees, and that write grievousness which they have prescribed;     
           2 To turn away the needy from judgment, and to take away the right from the poor of my people, that widows may be their prey, and that they may rob the fatherless!


Enhanced Social Liberties
           Joshua 24:15 And if is seem evil unto you to serve the Lord, choose you this day whom ye will serve…but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.

(ie, freedom of choice.  Under the umbrella of personal liberty, there is always the opportunity to serve God.  Serving God can still happen without it being an institutional mandate.)



Some Other Issues for Jesus’ Talking Points

Child abuse
Luke 17:2 It were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and he cast into the sea, than that he should offend one of these little ones. 

(I work in the field of child advocacy, and I can attest that one of the first state programs to be cut when a Republican governor takes office are child protection services.  Jesus 2016 would have none of that!  Protection of children would be a very, very significant line-item in Jesus’ budget!)


Hunger
           Isaiah 55:1 Ho, every one that thirsteth, come ye to the waters, and he that hath no money; come ye, buy, and eat; yea, come, buy wine and milk without money and without price.

           Luke 9:16 Then he took the five loaves and the two fishes, and looking up to heaven, he blessed them, and brake, and gave to the disciples to set before the multitude.
          
Elder Jeffery R. Holland, Are We Not All Beggars?


Protecting Wall Street
           2 Nephi 9:30 But wo unto the rich, who are rich as to the things of the world.  For because they are rich the despise the poor, and they persecute the meek, and their hearts are upon their treasures; wherefore, their treasure is their god.  And behold, their treasure shall perish with the also.  

(If you don’t read that as a call for re-distribution or wealth, then read it again!)


End institutional racism
           2 Nephi 26:33 …he inviteth them all to come unto him and partake of his goodness; and he denieth none that come unto him, black and white, bond and free, male and female; and he remembereth the heathen; and all are alike unto God, both Jew and Gentile.


Prison Reform, 3 Strike Laws
           Luke 17:3 ¶Take heed to yourselves: If thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him; and if he repent, forgive him.
           4 And if he trespass against thee seven times in a day, and seven times in a day turn again to thee, saying, I repent; thou shalt forgive him.

Isaiah 42:I the Lord have called thee in righteousness, and will hold thine hand, and will keep thee, and give thee for a covenant of the people, for a light of the Gentiles;
7 …to bring out the prisoners from the prison, and them that sit in darkness out of the prison house.


War, Being the World Policeman
           Matthew 5:9 Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God.
---


How did those policies add up for you?  Do you still think that the Republicans are the unquestioned party of Christianity?

Interestingly, I think the Mormons have gotten a head start on the idea that the Republicans may no longer be a safe haven for them.  Mitt Romney certainly helped.  Although he doesn’t speak for all Mormons, his influence was obvious in the steep Utah Primary Election results.  Romney clearly denounced Trump, even if it meant appearing disloyal to the party.  One of my problems with the Two-Party System is the constant “Us vs. Them” mentality inherent to a system with only two camps.  If you are trying to change or even improve your own party, it is immediately construed as an attempt to strengthen your opponent by showing your own weakness.  There is no winning with changing and adapting, there is only slowing down, creating fissures, and encouraging cracks that necessarily leave the other party with the upper hand.
 

Romney did not seem to care about the party itself when he unabashedly disavowed the party’s front-runner.  For Mormons, gone should be the days of accepting the Republican Party’s rhetoric, simply to maintain its strength.  Principle must be examined before mere unity.  If we are all united behind a two-headed monster, our unity no longer looks like a strength, but looks more like the intellectual (and moral?) weakness of a lemming.

And what exactly has the Republican Party done for us?  We are regularly slighted by Christian Coalition types (remember this? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OZI2K8roLG8) and called “not Christian enough” even though the Church regularly stages HUGE Jesus-centered media blitzes and sunk probably as much money and time as any other faith in the (so-called) Christian battle again same-sex marriage.

And let’s not forget our own history as a fringe group, systematically victimized with violence, pillaging, and rape; forced to flee our homes and communities again and again. (If you have not read the Gospel Topics Essay on 19th Century Violence, it is very illuminating: https://www.lds.org/topics/peace-and-violence-among-19th-century-latter-day-saints?lang=eng) Yes, we were refugees.  So how can we now as a people become the aggressors we once fell prey to?  How can we abandon fellow refugees, seeking peace, safety, solace, and personal freedoms as we once did? 


What a blessing it was to watch the first session of this season’s General Conference with its message to reach out with love for the flood of refugees living in terror around the world today.  General Conference always begins with a special session for women and girls and the theme was clear—we are responsible to bear one another’s burdens.  “…as ye are desirous to come into the fold of God, and to be called his people, and are willing to bear one another’s burdens, that they may be light; Yea and are willing to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort…” (Mosiah 18:8,9)  If that doesn’t sound like a Bernie Sanders speech, then I don’t know what does!

Speaking of Bernie, there was an alleged email leak of an exchange between the President of the Mormon Church, Thomas S. Monson, and the President of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, Russel M. Nelson.  According to the supposed leak, President Monson praised Bernie Sanders and mentioned that his words sound like something the prophet Brigham Young would have spoken.  Whether this came from a true email exchange or not, I love this point and think it is so true. 
When Brigham Young was the prophet, the Saints relocated to a far-away desert (Utah), away from developed society, where they could live in peace, free from violence and religious persecution.  Here they established their own society- a social utopia where they shared “all things in common.”  As they had under the leadership of Joseph Smith, the Saints practiced a religiously-mandated form of Socialism. (Doctrine and Covenants 42:30, And behold, thou wilt remember the poor, and consecrate of thy properties for their support…)  Social welfare programs were begun or re-started since their Exodus, programs like The Law of Consecration, Home Teaching, the Relief Society, etc. 


And no member of the Church is unaware of Welfare Square (http://www.mormonnewsroom.org/article/welfare-square-place-of-hope-for-the-needy)  No long-term member of the Church is unaware of Church Welfare Farms —yes!— entire farms owned by the Church and operated by volunteers, whose harvest is given to the poor and needy.  And surely no member is unaware of the amazing Humanitarian Aid program of the Church (https://www.lds.org/topics/humanitarian-service/church?lang=eng ), early and significant responders to natural disasters at home (including Hurricane Katrina and Super-Storm Sandy) as well as abroad.  


True, we live in a Capitalist country.  True, many Mormons are very successful with their Capitalist ventures.  But our roots are undeniably Socialist, and we still covenant that we are willing to give everything to benefit others.


With all that said, vote Jesus 2016!  In other words, don’t vote Republican :) 


"...and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, The mighty God, the everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace." (Isaiah 9:6)

Friday, February 12, 2016

Press Forward, Saints, With Steadfast Faith In Christ

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A Response to the LDS Policy Change Regarding the Children of Same-Sex Couples

There are honestly SO MANY thoughts and ideas I have encountered while doing my personal exploration of this topic.  At the risk of leaving things out that are close to my heart, I earnestly tried to make this post as short as possible, but it seemed to just keep growing.  Please know that my thoughts on this are numerous and varied and seem to change a little every day; and please know that I acknowledge that this is a very tricky subject, with many hurt people in its wake; and please know that if you feel heartbroken but are still trying to be faithful, YOU ARE NOT ALONE.


“’Don’t give up… Don’t you quit. You keep walking. You keep trying. There is help and happiness ahead—a lot of it—…  You keep your chin up. It will be all right in the end. Trust God and believe in good things to come.’”

A High Priest of Good Things to Come, 1999

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland




Are you ever burdened with a load of care?  Does the cross seem heavy you are called to bear?


So amid the conflict, whether great or small, do not be discouraged; God is over all.

Count Your Blessings, Johnson Oatman, Jr.

LDS Hymnal




With that in mind, here it goes…



The Topic:
Recent policy changes in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints regarding the children of same-sex couples.



The Primary Source:
Handbook 1, AKA “The White Handbook.”  Specifically, new Section 16.13.


Source Content:
November 3, 2015

Policies on Ordinances for Children of a Parent Living in a Same-Gender Relationship



The following additions to Handbook 1 have been approved by the Council of the First Presidency and the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles for immediate implementation.



A new section in Handbook 1, 16.13 will be added as follows:



Children of a Parent Living in a Same-Gender Relationship



A natural or adopted child of a parent living in a same-gender relationship, whether the couple is married or cohabiting, may not receive a name and a blessing. A natural or adopted child of a parent living in a same-gender relationship, whether the couple is married or cohabiting, may be baptized and confirmed, ordained, or recommended for missionary service only as follows: A mission president or a stake president may request approval from the Office of the First Presidency to baptize and confirm, ordain, or recommend missionary service for a child of a parent who has lived or is living in a same-gender relationship when he is satisfied by personal interviews that both of the following requirements are met:



1. The child accepts and is committed to live the teachings and doctrine of the Church, and specifically disavows the practice of same-gender cohabitation and marriage.



2. The child is of legal age and does not live with a parent who has lived or currently lives in a same-gender cohabitation relationship or marriage.


The Gist:
Children cannot become baptized, fully participating members of the LDS church if their parents are a homosexual couple, regardless of the child’s own sexual orientation or identity.

The Clarification:


Special emphasis was made by many members that this clarification letter included specific language that everyone at church should treat the children at issue with the “utmost respect and love.”  This is right and good.  Yet, to many, this emphasis seems incompatible with the whole policy in the first place.  Hence, the great divide, as I will discuss.


The Context:
After a decade of fighting gay marriage in defense of traditional families, only to legally lose that battle in the United States (although no doctrines or practices of the Church changed), the Church seemed to respond to this loss with love towards gay people and to reach out with open arms and the invitation of, “Come, there is space for you here.”  Then, just a few short months later, this policy change left many people confused.  Are we loving or are we rejecting?  Is there really “space” here for gay people or not? 

It is not particularly surprising that gay couples would be limited in their membership activities—in fact, it is not surprising at all.  It was, however, a huge surprise to many that prohibitions against the families of gay couples would extend to the most innocent members of their families, by forbidding their worthy, willing children to be baptized.

Frankly, the way this all came about indicated to me that the First Presidency did not think this would be such a big deal to the membership and to outsiders.  Rather than a polished Mormon Newsroom article or press release, which typically accompanies any change or response of any significance, this policy change was “leaked” by the press and immediately inflamed thousands upon thousands via social media.  A haphazard video response by a member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, Elder D. Todd Christofferson, seemingly thrown together in an effort to calm the flames, did little to calm many members.  Those who were aware that Elder Christofferson has an openly gay brother in the Church were often more agitated than soothed, feeling like this task was placed upon Elder Christofferson to try to use his brother’s reputation to make peace with the community.

The Uncomfortable Question About Prophetic Authority:
Many have found some solace in dismissing the problem as a mere policy issue. Their solace rests on the idea that since this is not a doctrinal change, it is not something that should particularly concern us lay-members, and it is not something that should be construed as undermining the prophet’s ability to direct the doctrine of the Church.  While it IS true that this is undeniably policy, and NOT doctrine, there still lies the question of, Shouldn’t the prophet not make mistakes when leading the Church, even in matters of “mere policy?”

To that end, I think people in the Church struggling with this policy are actually hung up on concerns about prophetic authority more than they are hung up on the actual content of the policy.  After all, can anyone really say they are surprised that the LDS Church would somewhat disenfranchise gay families?  The problem, to me, seems to be the uncomfortable place people go when talking themselves through the possibility that the prophet may have made a mistake.  I imagine many people spinning their wheels through this no-win line of thinking:

1) The prophet was wrong, or

2) The prophet was right



If the prophet was wrong, then perhaps

a) Prophets cannot be trusted, or

b) Prophets are just people who make mistakes



If the prophet was right, then

a) I doubt my ability to understand or agree with basic doctrine of this church, and perhaps

b) I don’t want to be a part of this enterprise any longer. 

If this is the spiral you are stuck in, remember, PLEASE remember, that we view our prophet in a far different way than the Catholic world views the Pope; the prophet is NOT an infallible being. 

“The Church of Jesus Christ has always been led by living prophets and apostles. Though mortal and subject to human imperfection, the Lord’s servants are inspired to help us avoid obstacles that are spiritually life threatening and to help us pass safely through mortality to our final, ultimate, heavenly destination.”

Elder M. Russell Ballard

God is at the Helm, 2015

In other words, prophets are people, too.  Here are just a few examples:

Noah got drunk and shamed himself. 

The Brother of Jared forgot to pray for a good while. 

Joseph Smith described his younger years (although he had already been called of God at this point and visited by God, Christ, and angels) in this way, “I frequently fell into many foolish errors, and displayed the weakness of youth, and the foibles of human nature; which, I am sorry to say, led me into divers temptations, offensive in the sight of God…” 

Brigham Young decided that black church members couldn’t hold the Priesthood, despite several having been ordained by his predecessor, Joseph Smith.   (More on that in a minute)

And on and on and on…  These were all policy decisions or personal decisions by prophets that were not in harmony with traditional doctrine.  And yet, right or wrong, they happened.  We know they happened.  And we still honor these men as prophets who were inspired by God to lead His people during their time period.

Although I would like to believe that I will always have 100% confidence in ALL official action taken by the prophet, if he does something I do not agree with, history suggests that it is not the end of the world.  Having personal opinions that are seemingly incongruous with Church policy does not convince me to start packing my spiritual bags and leave the Church. 

What I truly believe is that when I do have questions about policy decisions made by the leadership of the Church, I have every right to pray about it myself.  And if I do not agree with said policy, but I still believe in the divinity of this work (which I do), it is OKAY for me to have my own opinions and to carry on as a faithful follower of Christ and a supporter of the LDS Church organization. 



The Divide:
 A couple passages that immediately come to mind that seemingly refute this new policy are the following:

But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven.

         Matthew 19:14



We believe that men should be punished for their own sins

         Articles of Faith: 2


To me, these scriptures contradict the constant, automaton battle cry of the policy’s supporters, “It’s for the kids!  It protects the kids!”

And from what, pray tell, is this protecting the kids?  Protecting them from receiving the saving ordinances of the gospel?!  It is certainly not protecting them from the ridicule of their peers, that –if you know anything about kids—will surely come.

You contend that this policy protects the kids of homosexual parents.  You contend that it protects them from a lack of “harmony” between their church and home environments. (See the published policy clarification above) I can only interject that there are NO parallels between this policy and other family/living situations that are also not in harmony with gospel ideals.  There are no sanctions for kids when parents divorce.  No sanctions for a kid who is born out of wedlock.  No sanctions for kids born to cohabitating straight parents.  No sanctions for kids born to Nazi/hate group/KKK families.  None.  The singling out of gay families at a time when Gay Marriage has just been legalized, has the unfortunate appearance of retaliation and, insidiously, the only casualties are innocent children.

If only the Church had come right out and said something like, “We want to protect ALL the kids in the Church so they are not confused that homosexual marriage is a valid lifestyle sanctioned by the Church.”  

If only the Church leaders had used this logic of protecting ALL kids from being under a false impression that gay marriage is no big deal in the LDS church, then I would have had a much easier time swallowing this policy.  But the claim that this is to generously aid only the kids of gay parents is paternalistic and –sorry—not valid. 

If the church had even been so bold as to state that,

Temple marriage is our #1 priority.  Regardless of the legalization of gay marriage, we want our Church to be a place where heterosexual temple marriages reign supreme, so we are enacting this policy to make a statement in our community so that people don’t forget what our #1 is.” 

Sounds a bit harsh, but for me, I actually appreciate it more than some beat-around-the-bush, patronizing, one-sided “harmony of environments” excuse.


The History:
For better or for worse, in my biracial little family, we tend to examine those pronouncements coming from the prophet that don’t sound quite right to us, through the lens of the early Priesthood Ban.   As you are certainly aware, from the time when Brigham Young was prophet, all the way through to the issuance of Official Declaration 2 by President Spencer W. Kimball in 1978, nearly all non-whites were banned from the Priesthood and from temple ordinances.

Doctrinally, this made no sense.  Joseph Smith, the founding prophet of this dispensation and the prophet immediately preceding Brigham Young, was known to have fully included black Americans in the church.  In fact, (fun fact!) when Joseph Smith ran for President of the United States (told you it would be a fun fact!), a major tenet of his campaign platform for President was the abolition of the slaves.  From a pamphlet for his campaign:



“The Declaration of Independence ‘holds these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal; that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights; that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness;’ but at the same time some two or three millions of people are held as slaves for life, because the spirit in them is covered with a darker skin.”



A great side note is that he planned to have the federal government re-pay slaveholders for lost “property” upon abolition, in part, by reducing Congress’ pay!  Can’t say that I disagree!




At any rate, keeping blacks from the Priesthood was simply not part of the program before Brigham Young led the show.  I have heard several people chalk up the whole prohibition to President Young being “racist.”  That is an easy accusation to make, and perhaps it is true.  I am, however, just humble enough to acknowledge that even if something doesn’t make sense to me, it doesn’t necessarily mean that it still might not make sense for some other purpose of which I am unaware.

I have tried to consider scenarios in which, even though banning blacks from the priesthood was WRONG and is now recognized by Church leadership as wrong (https://www.lds.org/topics/race-and-the-priesthood?lang=eng) , it still may have been in God’s wisdom to command His prophet to do so.  Here is one of my utterly ridiculous scenarios: if blacks had been equal participants in the Church from the beginning, such that maybe we had a black prophet during WWII, maybe Hitler would have blitzed Salt Lake City right along with London. 

There were a lot of maybes in there and, like I said, it’s a pretty ridiculous notion.  But I hope it serves to illustrate my point that maybe the prophet, as inspired by God, sometimes promulgates things that may not make sense and may even seem doctrinally wrong, but they do have some unseen purpose in the end, known only to God.

Similarly, I have opened to the idea that even though prohibiting children in gay families from Church membership does not make much sense to me, and even seems wrong, it may have some unseen purpose in the end.  And, like the Priesthood Ban, it may even later be condemned as an error.  The legalization of gay marriage in the United States certainly still stings Church leadership, and I cannot see a revision of this policy coming (if at all) any time soon.

Until then, I cannot change my personal opinion regarding the irrationality of this policy.  But I can change my attitude and, rather than breed anger and outrage, develop trust that all will be made right in the end and that, perhaps a greater unseen purpose is being served here, even if at the expense of so many tender hearts.


My Commentary:

There’s Room For You

I had a hard time verbalizing this split-mind stance until I finished reading Harper Lee’s controversial, recently-published Go Set a Watchman.  I could not help but seeing Jean Louise “Scout” Finch as me, or as my friends who feel like their opposition to the policy is their cue to leave the Mormon community.

By the end of the novel, Scout’s world has been shattered after seeing her father in a completely new light—not the open-minded, fair, idealist, White Knight whom she had grown to emulate and practically worship.  Shockingly, her hero and exemplar now looked more like a racist imposter than the guardian of truth she had so adored.  She tries to run to the train station and leave her hometown in Alabama behind forever, taking solace from what she perceives as her wrecked mirage of a childhood, to New York City where she has been attending college.

Her father’s brother, Uncle Jack/Dr. Finch, is trying to convince her to stay, to teach her that this let-down from her father has a higher purpose and that there is a still a place for her in Maycomb, Alabama, betrayed though she may feel.  Here, Uncle Jack is asking about her hurt  and her disappointment in her father, which are finally beginning to subside.

From near the end of the book:

“…look back, now,” her uncle was saying.  “It’s still there, isn’t it?”



         She looked.  It was there, all right.  Every word of it.  But something was different.   She sat in silence, remembering.



         “Uncle Jack,” she finally said.  “Everything’s still there.  It happened.  It was.  But you know, it’s bearable somehow.  It’s—it’s bearable.”






         “Do you know why it’s bearable now, my darling?
…It’s bearable, Jean Louise, because you are your own person now…  Every man’s island, Jean Louise, every man’s watchman, is his conscience.  …now you, Miss, born with your own conscience, somewhere along the line fastened it like a barnacle onto your father’s.  As you grew up, when you were grown, totally unknown to yourself, you confused your father with God.  You never saw him as a man with a man’s heart, and a man’s failings—I’ll grant you it may have been hard to see, he makes so few mistakes, but he makes ‘em like all of us.  You were an emotional cripple, leaning on him, assuming that your answers would always be his answers.”
        

She listened to the figure on the sofa.

        

“When you happened along and saw him doing something that seemed to you to be the very antithesis of his conscience—your conscience—you literally could not stand it.  It made you physically ill.  Life became hell on earth for you…”

 Ah!  Have I likewise fastened my own conscience and beliefs to the Church leadership like a barnacle?  Am I so used to leeching off of their spirituality that when my own thoughts are separate from theirs, that I "literally cannot stand it?"  Could my confusion between my beliefs and their beliefs be the crux of the problem?


Again, from Uncle Jack:

         “…Prejudice, a dirty word, and faith, a clean one, have something in common: they both begin where reason ends…It’s one of the oddities of this world.”




When Scout is deciding where to go now, Uncle Jack continues his loving teaching, encouraging her to stay in Maycomb, Alabama, despite her initial desire to return to New York:

         “Well, at the risk of overloading you, could you possibly give an undertaking to thing about it?  You may not know it, but there’s room for you down here.”



         “You mean Atticus needs me?”



         “Not altogether.  I was thinking of Maycomb.”



         “That’d be great, with me on one side and everybody else on the other.  If life’s an endless flow of the kind of {racist} talk I heard this morning, I don’t think I’d exactly fit in.”



         “That’s the one thing about here, the South, you’ve missed.  You’d be amazed if you knew how many people are on your side, if side’s the right word.  You’re no special case.  The woods are full of people like you, but we need some more of you.”



She started the car and backed it down the driveway.  She said, “What on earth can I do?  I can’t fight them.  There’s no fight in me any more…”



         “I don’t mean by fighting; I mean by going to work every morning, coming home at night, seeing your friends {} …the time your friends need you is when they’re wrong, Jean Louise.  {}  …it takes a certain kind of maturity to live in the South these days.”



Change Uncle Jack’s words to apply to YOU—

“You’d be amazed if you knew how many people are on your side, if side’s the right word.  You’re no special case.  The Church is full of people like you, but we need some more of you…  It takes a certain kind of maturity to be a Mormon these days, with all of the baggage that comes along with that word.  But the Church needs to see you, with your own political/social opinions, still being faithful every day and still cherishing the truths of the gospel, regardless of your seemingly contrary opinions.”


Collectivism VS Individualism

As Uncle Jack told Scout, I do believe that it takes maturity to be different—in this case, it takes great Spiritual Maturity to consider, ponder, and pray about questions for yourself, but to still give deference to inspired leaders even if you aren’t quite sure you’re on the same page.  To me, this is one of the most interesting things about the LDS Church—it is simultaneously a society based on collectivism AND on individualism. 

Examples?
Christ atoned for all mankind with incomprehensible power and application, yet we are each individually required to utilize the Atonement in our lives to give it any effect.

The gospel is for everyone, but you must choose to be baptized for yourself.

We aspire to perform baptisms for the dead for all who have passed, yet we acknowledge that a proxy baptism has no efficacy unless the deceased person him- or herself consents to accept the ordinance performed.

We use home teaching and visiting teaching to connect everyone as a unit and learn what is going on in everyone’s lives, yet your personal sins are confidential and dealt with individually with your Bishop.

We believe that the prophet has stuardship to speak to all the world, promulgating God’s will, yet all members are encouraged to pray for themselves and receive personal revelation that the prophet is truly called of God and is truly speaking for God in every instance.



And how can this dualism be possible? 
I suggest that it is possible because there is a homogeneity of doctrine, but not of one’s experiences, beliefs, or opinions.  The society of saints is expected to assist the one, but ultimately the one is responsible for his or her own conversion.

In other words, there are many things that are universal—the Commandments, God’s love, Christ’s atonement—and yet these universal things mean little without the alignment of our individual hearts, minds, and actions to them.


Elder Gerald N. Lund of the Seventy taught:
“Individual agency is so sacred that Heavenly Father will never force the human heart, even with all His infinite power. Man may try to do so, but God does not. To put it another way, God allows us to be the guardians, or the gatekeepers, of our own hearts. We must, of our own free will, open our hearts to the Spirit, for He will not force Himself upon us”

Opening Our Hearts

               Ensign, May 2008


Even Elder Christofferson, in his policy-related put-out-the-fire video, was candid in admitting that the church does not attempt to practice “mind control.”  There will always be differences of opinion and ideas among members of the Church (Mitt Romney and Harry Reid, anyone?)  And yet for each of us, there is always the same goal: to press on.  To approach perfection, little by little.  To develop the qualities and characteristics of godliness.


The Tree of Life—Pressing On

One of the best known images/parables in the Mormon faith is Lehi’s vision –and subsequently Nephi’s identical vision—of the Tree of Life.  To re-cap, the Tree of Life bears sweet, bright white fruit that is more delicious than anything and represents Eternal Life—the greatest of all the gifts of God to His righteous children.  The fruit can only be tasted by people who complete the journey to the Tree of Life, which includes following a treacherous path alongside dirty rivers, mists of darkness, and detractors along the way.  The only way one can possibly complete this journey is by holding tightly to an iron rod that lines the path to the tree.  This rod is interpreted in the text as representing the Word of God (the scriptures, the words of the prophets, revelation).

This parable is instrumental in understanding the heartfelt expressions of a local Stake President on this policy change.  The Stake President of whom I speak is internationally known businessman, David Checketts, who gathered locals together for an opportunity to seek inspiration on this policy change.  The New Canaan, Connecticut, stake hosted a fireside where President Checketts and others spoke, including the openly gay brother of Elder D. Todd Christofferson – Tom Christofferson—  whom I mentioned earlier.  My husband and I could not pass up this opportunity to seek balm in Gilead.  We did not hear what we expected to hear, but our hearts were comforted, and we felt unity with many others who had the same questions as we did.

President Checketts compared himself to one of the people in Lehi’s vision who grasped the iron rod, hoping to reach the Tree of Life.  For me, the most moving part of this whole fireside was when this faithful, strong, successful man admitted to one and all that he feels like, right now, he is in the mists of darkness— just barely hanging on to the iron rod. 

Similarly, we each have the goal to get to the Tree, but when darkness comes upon us, sometimes we lose our place, or we lose confidence in the direction we are going.  But as Lehi and Nephi taught, firmly grasping onto the Iron Rod –God’s word—even when the darkness is choking us, is the only way we can hope to make it to the Tree, and partake of the fruit that is “sweet above all that is sweet.”


It was also a special experience to hear Tom Christofferson speak at this fireside.  He was very upfront in stating that his purpose was not to provide a rationale for the recent policy changes, but to help us all think together about the work of disciples –our work as disciples— in trying times.  When things are difficult, uncomfortable, or even heartbreaking, a true disciple of Christ would not use that as an excuse to abandon his Master.  Rather, times of trial are times when the world needs the message of Jesus Christ the most. 

“His love impels us to emulate His character… bring the balm of His love to all who are around us, and be a beacon to bring all to Christ.  We may want to withdraw, but seek to serve others now more than ever…  I pray that the experiences of recent days will fuel our determination to share Christ’s love… Move forward in peace, with faith enough for today.  Our testimonies of the Savior, Jesus Christ, can testify that none are beyond His reach; we can reach out with testimony and change the world.”
(Note that I only took notes by hand at this meeting, but I did my best to be accurate.)           Tom Christofferson; November 15, 2015

New Canaan Stake Fireside

I appreciated the faithful words of Brother Christofferson and President Checketts immensely.  To complement their touching reverence for the Lord, His work, and His love; I share a favorite hymn, based on a favorite scripture, that I think really speaks to the situation at hand:


Press forward, Saints, with steadfast faith in Christ,

With hope's bright flame alight in heart and mind,

With love of God and love of all mankind.

Alleluia! Alleluia! Alleluia!



Press forward, feasting on the word of Christ.

Receive his name, rejoicing in his might.

Come unto God; find everlasting light.

Alleluia! Alleluia! Alleluia!



Press on, enduring in the ways of Christ.

His love proclaim thru days of mortal strife.

Thus saith our God: "Ye have eternal life!"

Alleluia! Alleluia! Alleluia!

Press Forward, Saints by Marvin K. Gardner

LDS Hymnal


2 Nephi 31:20 Wherefore, ye must press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope, and a love of God and of all men. Wherefore, if ye shall press forward, feasting upon the word of Christ, and endure to the end, behold, thus saith the Father: Ye shall have eternal life.

(Note that it doesn’t say, “Be the proverbial ideal” or,  “Be happy all the time” or, “Know all the answers.”  It says that pressing forward—just hanging in there!— regardless of the storms raging inside and out, is what will bring eternal life!)

Elijah
Teaching seminary, I became re-acquainted this semester with a scriptural story in the Old Testament that has undeniable relevance.  Recall that in the book of 1st Kings, the Israelites are now divided into two kingdoms.  The northern kingdom, Israel (as opposed to Judah in the south), has turned to idolatry and a famine has now smitten the land for several years.  The prophet is currently Elijah and the Lord has been sustaining him near a brook, which ultimately dries up.  Elijah comes to Zarephath for sustenance, and there he encounters a widow and her son, who are resigned to their last bit of flour and oil to prepare their last meal before they wait for death.  Elijah does something unthinkably selfish and cruel—he tells the widow that, instead of feeding her desperate self and her starving son, that she should use her last bit of food to feed Elijah himself!

The depravity!  Taking food out of the mouth of an innocent child!  How very wrong this seems.  Today, the Church always puts family first and I cannot imagine a Bishop or a missionary or the prophet ever asking a starving mother for such a sacrifice.  But here, this woman who wouldn’t even have known Elijah, is asked to sacrifice she and her son’s last chance at living for this out-of-touch old guy!

But miraculously, when this small, suffering family endures their pain for a little longer and chooses to sacrifice their tiny portion of food to this stranger because he, the prophet, asks them to in the name of the God of Israel, somehow, they are provided for.  Somehow they have enough to sustain them.  Somehow they press on and live.        


Conclusion:
I have no idea what will happen next, but I cannot see a reversal of this new policy in the near future, if at all.  I still cannot say that I agree with the policy.  But I do feel at peace that the prophet, though a fallible human being like the rest of us, speaks for the Lord when inspired to do so.  As I do on many issues, I have no qualms separating my personal, sometimes political, opinions from my understanding of doctrine or from accepted Church traditions.  As I have been trying to show, one can accept idealistic doctrine and aspire for righteous perfection, while still living in the real world and embracing a loving realism towards one’s fellow humans.  Not all good people have enduring temple marriages; not all good people have even heard of temples.  So idealism can only take us so far in this world.  I believe in striving for universal ideals as I assess my own improvement, but I also believe in meeting people where they are, serving them where they are, and loving them where they are, regardless of the ideals.  Love will win.  Loving realism, coupled with faith, will certainly make all things right in the end.  So press on and hope for better days ahead.


Again, from Elder Holland:

“’Don’t give up… Don’t you quit. You keep walking. You keep trying. There is help and happiness ahead—a lot of it—…  You keep your chin up. It will be all right in the end. Trust God and believe in good things to come.’”